Monday, July 22, 2013

Probably more pathetic than I realize

I was on hiatus for awhile there, but I think I'm back.  Last week, the heat here was ridiculous.  It was around the 32 mark ("but it feels like 40," the weather jerks say) midday, and then dropping to 23 at night.  I have a little window air conditioner in my bedroom, but the cool just wasn't reaching the rest of the apartment.  At about 8 o'clock every night, the temperature in the living room would get unbearable.  I had two options: take my computer into my bed with me and shut the door (which ended with me falling asleep at 9), or leave the apartment for adventure elsewhere.  It was about a 50/50 split throughout the week.  More often than not, I'd end up at Chapters/Indigo/Coles, although never the same one twice.

I was brushing my teeth on Wednesday morning when I was filled with a special kind of dread.  The thought occurred to me that I've become an incredibly boring person.  Unfortunately, I was running late, so I just finished brushing my teeth and then rushed off in the general direction of my 5'x5' cubicle.  I was still the first person in the building.

This feeling crept up again as I was pulling a document together at work.  One of the nice things about my job is that we can listen to our portable music players while we work (not sure if that's an official thing, or just that no one has complained).  I had my iPod on shuffle and felt restless.  I feel like I've been listening to the same musicians since high school.  My iPod has a grand total of 5688 songs on it - guilty pleasures included, because who doesn't like Jessie J? - and I still feel like I have nothing to listen to.  Don't get me wrong, I still think Blur/Radiohead/Matthew Good Band are great, but I'm definitely stuck in a rut.  I'm listening to songza today, in the hopes that I'll find something new that I like.  I just heard a Panic! at the disco song that was nice, but I just don't know what I'm doing or how to find good music anymore.

I saw The Conjuring this weekend.  It was good, very scary.  I went with a new friend, who I met through a dating site.  This is very clearly just a friendship, though.  He'll probably be headed out of Canada for his post-doctorate work.  Hi-ho.  It's nice to make a new friend, though.

I think part of my boredom can be directly related to the proximity of my friends.  Most of my close friends are those from high school.  This came as some surprise; I had thought that my university friends were the ones that would stick.  I thought this prior to going to university.  I wish I could re-do university.  I was about 20 pounds heavier than I am, and awkward as hell.  I clung fiercely to the friends I had, and I would be a little embarrassed to bump into a number of them now.  After university, I went home, as did a number of my high school friends.  Fast forward a few years, and those friends are now scattered a few hours away from me.

Other than 'work friends' (who sometimes you really don't want to see outside of work), I officiallly have two friends in my city, one of whom used to be a work friend at my last job.  The second is the guy I just met yesterday.  They don't know about each other.  I need to take some courses or something to meet people, but I worry there's a hint of desperation about me that will just get me in trouble: "HAHAHHA, we are having a good timeWESHOULDGETCOFFEEANDCHAT!"

University, all over again.

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